The Flowbee

Remember the Flowbee? The haircutting machine from the 80's attached to a vacuum cleaner that gave you a precise, professional haircut every time? Well, I wish I had one. The thing itself is kind of scary, but I like the idea of it: saving money by cutting your own hair in the comfort of you own home! Today I cut my family's hair without a Flowbee, opting instead to go the old fashioned route using a pair of scissors and a comb. 

I read an article in the paper a few weeks ago about how more people are saving money by going to Supercuts instead of their usual hair salon in order to save a few bucks. I went one better by giving us all home haircuts, including myself. Sparky's hair was fairly easy to cut - he doesn't really have a lot of it, and it was simple to just cut it nice and short. (He knows it's time for a haircut when his brown Borcellino won't fit because it's too snug. Then he calls for a "high & tight".) I trimmed the ends of my own hair by looking in the mirror, which was kind of tricky because everything is backwards. But I managed to snip those split ends right off. I usually just keep my hair pulled back in a sensible Jane Goodall ponytail, so there was no real styling going on. (I hate having hair hanging in my face, I hate the way it feels. I can't stand it when I see women on the television with long bangs that hang in their eyes - every time they blink, the hair clings to their mascaraed eyelashes. "Get that hair out of your eyes!" I want to yell at them. I think it would be really great to have a crew cut, and then I wouldn't have to mess with my hair at all, but everyone always looks at me aghast when I mention this idea. Maybe someday...)

Bee's hair is the hardest to cut. It's very fine, and she won't sit still for very long. So I just trimmed her bangs, and I'm proud to say that I managed to cut them fairly straight. (I remember when I was in grade school my dad would cut our hair, and my bangs were always crooked. I finally wised up and grew my bangs out.) 

Anyway, I saved our family money  by DIYing it. The secret to cutting hair at home is to use very sharp scissors, keep the hair damp, and take your time - stand back and look at your handy work from time to time. Afterwards, when all our hair was shorn, we celebrated by dancing  to The Kinks "Victoria". It was just a fun thing to do, and Bee is a very good dancer and always enjoys a party atmosphere.  And someday soon I may actually break down and buy the Flowbee, but at $69.99 (NOT including the mini vac) it's a little outside of The Miser's budget.

P.S. The Misers did not win the Super Lotto - we didn't even get a single number!