Band Of Misers

(by Guest Blogger, Sparky McMiser)

The Misers, looking for entertainment on Sunday, didn't get too far into the Calender Section of the L.A. Times before being turned away. The Lakers were playing at the Staples Center and tickets for the three of us would run well into the three figure range - and that was before the extraordinary parking tariff, which although the norm for sporting events, commonly runs $40 to visit the Staples complex. So, even the parking was a deal breaker. What to do? U-2 and Bachman Turner Overdrive were playing at the spanking new Nokia Theatre according to Tickets-R-Us. Whoa! That evening of entertainment could run close to four figures with tickets, parking, food and drink. No, it was definitely going to be at least a $1000 evening to visit the citadel of fresh wealth and amusement. The Misers, as you know, could be entertained for five years on that $1000+ evening.

So we visited our friends from Pennsylvania who live in The Valley. They have a little girl, "A" who is the same age as "B". She's an Aries, too. They look like twins when seated next to each other. We dress them in numbered jerseys with their names on the back just to tell them apart. And as the notion of seeing live music set sail, D broke out the Rock Band game and wired it up. While Peanut corralled the look-a-likes A and B, a new rock and roll sensation, The Drifting Trash Eaters, was born. I was a little slow on the uptake trying to master the drums, but D was rocking the ax and J went Janis Joplin on us. We switched instruments and finally found our ideal line-up: D on guitar, J on drums, and Sparky McMiser on lead vocals. We dominated such timeless classics as Nirvana's "Drain You", L7's "Pretend That We're Dead", and The Chili Peppers snow song from Arcadium. We were about to take the country by storm when the guitar's batteries died. Which was fine, as B was flashing the sign: eye rubbing. Her day was done. And so it will be at least another month before we open at Staples. We'll post a guest list here at The Miser Family Los Angeles. Be sure and check. Unfortunately, we will not be able to assist with the parking.