Hospital Chronicles, Part 9 - Saturday Night At The Movies

Saturday morning marked the fifth day in the hospital. Honestly, I was surprised to find myself still there. Being in a hospital makes you feel suspended from the rest of world, as though you are not a part of society any longer. My life in that isolation room had taken on an unreal and dreamlike quality and time seemed warped, moving both fast and slow at the same time. I still did not know what afflicted me but I had ample time to think about it. I stopped reading "Just Kids" right at the part where Robert Mapplethorpe gets sick because I couldn't bear to read about him dying. I figured that I would read the rest of the book after getting out and hopefully was in a better space. So instead I downloaded a bunch of books onto my iPad by female comedians like Tina Fey's "Bossypants", Mindy Kapling's "Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me?" and Sara Barron's "People Are Unappealing: Even Me" as I was more in the mood for some shallow and light reading then anything that was heavy or profound. Funny books were all I could stomach there on the inside.

I was scheduled for two ultrasounds in the afternoon to check for any cancer cells that may be lurking in my body. I was again wheeled through the massive labyrinth of hospital corridors and taken down to where the sonograms where performed. Since I was to have two separate ultrasounds done, I was taken down twice and seen by two different technicians. The tests were both fairly uneventful as they didn't hurt or anything, but they did take forever to complete and were very impersonal.  The technicians barely spoke to me as I laid on the table in the small darkened room but instead worked the sonogram wand with one hand and the computer with the other. They both seemed to be concentrating very hard while they performed their tasks. It felt like they were doing a very thorough job for which I was thankful, and then finally it was over.

Two pulmonary specialist also visited me that Saturday afternoon. The first lung doctor (who was older than me) told me that because of my age he seriously doubted that it was lung cancer. He still wasn't sure what it was, but wanted me not to worry and to hope for the best. I liked him quite a bit and he promised to visit me later when they had more information. The second lung doctor (who was younger than me) told me that because of my age there was a likely chance that it could be lung cancer, and that we should proceed with caution. What the hell? The first guy made me feel like I was too young to get lung cancer and the second guy made me feel like I was suddenly the perfect age for lung cancer. And that made me feel old. And kind of depressed. I told Sparky about it when he came to visit me and he told me not to worry, that everything was going to be all right, and that he could tell that I didn't have lung cancer. He said this with great conviction and it cheered me up because I really believed him at that moment, and his intuition in these matters has been remarkably accurate over the years.

After Sparky left, I ate my bland saltless dinner and decided that I was going to spend Saturday night in the hospital watching a movie! I had my own little flatscreen TV hanging on the wall but had not watched it at all. "The Blind Side" was showing that night and my sister had recommend it to me, telling me that her oldest son really like it. She assured me that it had a happy ending which was really my only criteria. So I watched it that night and enjoyed it quite a bit. It made me cry, but in a sentimental kind of way. It's not the type of movie I would ever seek out at the movie theater or rent from Netflex, but it was perfect for what I needed that Saturday night in the hospital. It was the only thing that I watched on the TV while I was there, and I will always associate Sandra Bolluck and the movie "The Blind Side" with my stint at County/USC.

(to be continued...)